The Best Way to Live

We were thinking about it the other day, and we got to feeling really sorry for all you folks back home. We have life so good here, while you suffer though the American way of life. It is enough to make us cry.I can see by the sneer on your face that you don’t believe me, so here it goes.1. When you want to add crunch to your food, you have to buy croutons, or baco bits or some other crunchy substance, but all we have to do is add a bit of sand to the rice and we all can crunch throughout our entire meal, and it is free! (we got the idea from the chickens)2. We have a water park right outside our front door…and it is free. And crowds? There aren’t any…except a few fishermen.3. We have our own zoo! We have large lizards, snakes, bugs, tigers, elephants, monkeys, bugs that look like green leaves, birds, and who knows what all else. They are in a natural looking environment, and tend to jump out at you when you least expect it, adding the element of surprise to living at the zoo!4. We go on cruises at least once a week. We can get anything we want as far as beverages go. (As long as our desires don’t go beyond a very limited scope) Sometimes we even get snacks to go with our beverages. (Mangos floating down the river)5. Our kids have more toys than most children ever dream of. We have more swing sets than I have ever seen before, as well as balance beams, teeter-totters, monkey bars, rock climbing walls, slides, and huge sandboxes, just to name a few.6. Although remote, we do have some of the finer things in life also, including an outdoor shower with hot or cold running water, depending on the time of day. We also have a wrap-around sound machine. Right now it is set on jungle sounds, and gives us soothing jungle sounds 24 hours a day, without the need of batteries. (OK, so once in a while it is not so soothing….) We enjoy candle light dinners every single evening. (Which is calming to the nerves because then you can’t see the bugs in the food)7. And talk about a health retreat! Some people go to great expense to get what we have here! We have daily exercise routines, sweat baths, hot and cold treatments, (Mostly hot), crystal clear creek water to drink with minerals added for taste and texture, fresh air in all the rooms… all the time, charcoal foot treatments, organic gardens…oh, I could go on and on. It is simply a MOST healthful place to live.8. We have a builders supply store right here on the place. We also have plenty of the latest in tools and equipment. We have a BACK-hoe with large and small buckets, a dozer…that only works at night, a do-it-yourself jackhammer, rock crushing equipment, four power saws, and a nice assortment of finish tools. (Machetes) And the best part about it is that all this equipment supports our exercise program, and encourages sweat baths!9. Educational opportunities? Yes, we have that too! We have a college professor on campus that will see to it that you learn your assignments thoroughly. (Well, Jason did teach English at the college…that counts as a college professor doesn't it?) We teach the basics such as math and reading and English, but we also offer a wide variety of specialty subjects. Including but not limited to; crocodile hunting, navigation, swimming, orienteering, (Where are we anyway???) a wide variety of languages, bible ethics, construction, homemaking, landscaping, agriculture, excavation, interior design, sewing, and for those of lesser abilities, sandcastle and mud-pie making.I guess that about covers it, unless I forgot something important.But please don’t get discouraged just because you don’t have things as nice as we do…we’ll keep you in our prayers!