You Know Your A Missionary When....

This is a reprint from Maria's blog that she did a few years ago. I just loved it and thought that I would share it with those who don't read Maria's blog. It is so incredibly accurate!-> It dosen't even occur to you to use a fork when eating.-> You can (when the need arises), without blinking an eye, change your clothes in front of a roomful of people (there's a technique involved...)-> You're told you're fat, sometimes several times a day.-> You can't understand why people need chairs.-> You call your grandma "Pee-Pee" and your grandpa "Poo-Poo." (No joke! Sometimes the language is hilarious.)-> Even the married men you know wear skirts.-> Instead of wondering why people are staring at you, you think it's strange if they don't.-> You've cheerfully accepted the presence of miscelanious little critters in your food as an excellent source of protein (bye-bye vegetarianism!)-> You don't know how to sleep with a pillow.-> Your new name is "White Person" and somehow everywhere you go everybody always already knows it.-> You've acquired an awesome tan and yet still people marvel at your whiteness.-> You've been spied at through holes in the restroom walls.-> Gas for the motorbike's a necessity and toilet paper a luxury.-> You dream of subs, seven-layers, and snowstorms.-> Politeness and generosity are a way of life.-> On good days, you own the equivalant to $15 and you're very possibly one of the richest people you know.-> You consider yourself to be alright financially 'til you're below $3.-> You've ever prayed for the loss of one of your senses - smell!-> You know what it's like to be deaf, dumb, and illiterate.-> You're current roomates are leggy little beings, dark and fuzzy, about the size of your palm, with the potential of increasing exponentially.-> You can judge the time before light by how many roosters are crowing.-> You know that the poorest people are some of the happiest in the world.-> You've almost forgotten what you look like as you don't have a mirror.-> If by chance you see another white person, you forget your own ethnical status and join the natives in their cry of, "Look! Look! A WHITE person!" And catch yourself making similar snyde comments as to his tanned whiteness, disporportionate nose, and ungainly size.-> You've ever come across road workers reclining horizontally across the road while taking a siesta and rather than moving they let you drive around them.-> Your heartrate does not accelerate even though that vehicle just missed you by a foot.-> You've decided that a sense of humor is a lifeskill."By their fruits ye shall know them..."